Mental health: Coping with personal anxiety

Behind every successful woman, is a group chat hyping her up. Never a truer word spoken.

What is a woman without her friends? We all have moments of self-doubt, low confidence and need that support network around us.

As a social media user, I see more and more people documenting their struggles with mental health, and quite frankly its wonderful. Wonderful that mental health is not a taboo subject. Wonderful that by sharing their experiences they are in turn helping someone else. Wonderful that these people can speak out.

Everyone has their own anxieties. Not everyone talks about them.  You can look at someone in envy, and believe they are perfectly happy and healthy and in fact they are battling secret demons.

But why do these demons have to exist?

It is fine to do things to make you happy. And it’s okay if that’s something that wouldn’t make someone else happy.  As hard as it is, sometimes you really do have to think of yourself.

Making yourself happy isn’t always a spa break, chocolate, or spending money. Sometimes simple things like a bath and an early night is just as helpful.

It’s maybe accepting that it is okay to stop seeing that friend who isn’t really your friend (we all have one or two). It could mean accepting that you are not perfect, but that’s okay, nobody is!

Many of us put too much worth on what others think. It is perfectly okay to like something that someone else doesn’t. Some people like tomatoes, some don’t. Some people love the smell of lavender, others can’t bear it.

Some people like fake tan and faux freckles, others wouldn’t dream of it. Neither opinion is wrong, everyone is entitled to their own. The world would be a boring place if everyone were the same. Really boring.

I’ve personally read some quite hurtful comments and opinions on social media. If you walked into a small shop run by the person who made everything themselves and saw something you wouldn’t use, would you feel the need to tell that person how ridiculous that item was? Then would you ring your friends and tell them how awful it is and how stupid an idea it is, all whilst the owner is stood there?

I’d like to think not! So why is social media any different?

There is a person behind every product you see, every post, every photo. Maybe if we tread with more kindness, less people would feel the anxieties and pressures of what others think. If you don’t personally like something, don’t buy it. Don’t waste the time and energy writing something horrid about it.

Let’s focus our energy on something more positive, for you and for others. Compliment someone or something. Make someone a cup of coffee and put the world to rights. Send someone a link to something you’ve seen that you know they’ll love (even if you don’t).

If I’m feeling down or anxious I immediately feel pale, frumpy and self-critical.  Out comes the fake tan, then the Bronzie’s thrown on, I put on an upbeat film (and more than likely eat chocolate), nails painted and a to do list of what’s playing on my mind. This wouldn’t work for everyone but its okay as it works for me. If that’s not done the trick, I know I can meet a friend for a coffee and talk and talk until we’ve worked out a plan of action, laughed, cried, and put the world to rights.

What works for you?

I think the moral of the story is to make you happy. If you see someone struggling, the smallest of things can make them happy. Don’t be afraid to like what you like, be who you are, and do what you want to do.

Here’s to being individuals, and not giving a damn what anyone else says about it.

We got you.